Episode 41

Finding Holiday Joy with Cancer

with Darcie Wells
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Finding Holiday Joy with Cancer

What happens when the holidays arrive while you’re still healing from cancer?

In this solo reflection, host Darcie Wells, President and CEO of CanCare, speaks directly to cancer survivors and caregivers who feel out of sync with the “most wonderful time of the year.” She names the quiet realities of this season after cancer, including gratitude pressure, FOMO around old traditions, scanxiety before medical tests, caregiver exhaustion and the sharp ache of missing someone who is no longer here.

Darcie shares the words of survivors who describe feeling like life is happening in two worlds at once, and reminds you that your feelings are valid, even when they are messy. She offers simple tools for this season: redefine what a “good” holiday looks like, set kind but clear boundaries, create new or gentler traditions, and honor both grief and gratitude without pretending. She also suggests ways to remember loved ones with small memorial rituals while still allowing moments of peace and joy to emerge.

Above all, Darcie invites you to see your presence as the greatest gift. Your holiday does not have to be perfect. It just has to be yours, and you do not have to walk through it alone.

Tips For Managing The Holiday:

The holidays can be beautiful, but after cancer, they can also feel overwhelming or emotionally complicated. If this season feels different than it used to, you are not alone. These tips can help you move through the holidays with more peace and self-compassion.

1. Redefine What “Holiday Success” Means: Meaningful matters more than perfect. Smaller gatherings can feel deeply fulfilling. Quality time is more important than the number of events. Rest is a gift, not a weakness. Prioritize what matters and let the rest go.

2. Set Boundaries and Communicate: Your Needs Say yes only to what feels manageable. It is okay to decline invitations or leave early. Let loved ones know how they can support you. Limit conversations that may feel triggering. Prepare simple responses such as “I am focusing on enjoying today.” Redirect intrusive questions. Ask a trusted person to help shift conversations.

3. Create Traditions That Fit: Where You Are Now: Choose traditions that bring genuine joy. Include gratitude practices that feel authentic. Build in breaks and recovery time.

4. Honor Your Emotions: It is okay to feel sad, anxious, or overwhelmed. Grief and joy can coexist. Reach out for support when emotions feel heavy.

5. Care for Your Health: Stay consistent with medication. Hydrate, rest, and care for your body. Honor your physical limits.

6. If You Are Missing Someone: Create rituals that honor their memory. Light a candle, share their stories, or include something they loved. Allow space for grief and joy.

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A Gentle Reminder: Your holidays do not have to look the way they used to. Cancer changes you, and it is natural for your celebrations to change too. Make the focus presence, peace, and moments of connection. Your holiday season does not have to be perfect. It just has to be yours.

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Mentioned Resources:

CanCare- www.cancare.org

Book – www.cancare.org/hopebook

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Ep 46

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Ep 45

One Man’s Breast Cancer Journey

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What does it look like when a man who is wired to strategize and stay in control faces a diagnosis he never expected? Male breast cancer is rarely discussed, yet it carries the same weight of fear, uncertainty, and identity shift as any cancer journey. In this thoughtful conversation, Rene Valdry shares what it was like to hear the words stage three breast cancer and begin navigating treatment while continuing to show up for work, family, and himself. Rene and Darcie explore the emotional reality men may struggle to express. They talk about the loss of control, the quiet anger, and the vulnerability of speaking the diagnosis out loud. They reflect on continuing to work during treatment, leaning on trusted friendships, and finding strength through support groups and shared experience. At its heart, this conversation centers on awareness, community, and the subtle ways cancer reshapes how a person listens, leads, and lives. His story is a reminder that even when life narrows to one step at a time, hope remains steady in connection and presence Highlights How noticing a subtle physical change during an ordinary workout led to a life-altering diagnosis Why male breast cancer often goes undetected and under-discussed What it means to surrender control when you are wired to strategize outcomes Hear how continuing to work during treatment created stability and purpose Discover the emotional complexity men may experience but struggle to express Learn why community, peer support, and shared experience change the cancer journey Mentioned Resources: CanCare- www.cancare.org Book – www.cancare.org/hopebook About the Guest: Rene Valdry is a male breast cancer survivor and advocate raising awareness about a disease most people don't realize affects men. Diagnosed with Stage III breast cancer in 2023 after noticing something unusual during a workout, his journey has deepened his faith and shaped his commitment to supporting others through cancer. Throughout treatment, Rene continued working while leaning on his faith, a support group, and his community. He describes a quiet intuition he's developed: the ability to recognize another cancer survivor before a word is spoken.
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