Ken T.
Ken was a devoted caregiver for his wife, Ellen, as she bravely battled terminal pancreatic cancer.
His wife remained positive and determined throughout her entire journey. From the diagnosis to the devastating news of metastasis, Ken found strength through his wife and her unwavering approach to life, even through her final days.
Ken recalls that soon after losing Ellen, widows and widowers told him that losing a spouse is often harder for men than for women. Ken discovered this to be true. He came to realize that much of the difference is in how men and women connect with their support networks through loss.
Ken learned one of his greatest lessons: that healing requires opening up and allowing others to walk beside you. By leaning on those willing to listen, he has found strength, comfort, and a deeper appreciation for the people in his life.
Ken says his role as a CanCare volunteer has given him the opportunity to talk with many others going through similar journeys.
While every story is different, he has noticed familiar patterns. His approach is simply to be there for the connection and conversation, which also helps him continue to put his own journey in context. He has found that just helping others understand their feelings are normal and expected can have a big impact.
Ken shares that the best volunteer moments are when he sees appreciation on someone’s face or hears it in their voice as they recognize a shared experience. This often happens when he mentions the “brain fog” that can follow the loss of a spouse, bringing clarity to something that can otherwise feel frightening.
To anyone thinking about seeking support from CanCare or Volunteering... "It is hard for me to overstate the benefit of a good support network and deep dialogue with someone who has been through the same thing. I see others withdraw into their grief. I really don't think that is a good way to move forward. There are a variety of support groups, but CanCare stands out by connecting those with shared experiences in a one-on-one format. It's a different type of supportive relationship."
His Message of Hope ... "Connecting with others who have been through the same thing is tremendously helpful. It's not only OK but quite helpful to talk it out. The common experience is beneficial in getting through difficult times. I have learned a great deal about myself, as well as about my relationship with my wife."