Emotional Support for Cancer Caregivers

Our Cancer Caregiver Support Page

Every cancer journey is unique. Your support should be too!

Caregivers Need Support Too

At CanCare, we recognize that cancer is a friend and family disease that affects everyone who loves the person living with a cancer diagnosis. According to the American Cancer Society, 1 in 3 people will be diagnosed with cancer in their lifetime. That means that there are countless others who will be caregivers for someone with cancer.

As the loved one of someone living with cancer, your life looks different now.  You, as a loved one – a husband, wife, partner, mother, father, brother, sister, son, daughter or friend – now have your own cancer journey, that of supporting someone with cancer. At CanCare we offer help for caregivers of cancer patients by providing emotional support to the cancer patient’s family and friends as well as the cancer patient.  Husbands, wives, partners, children, parents, siblings, aunts, uncles, grandparents, grandchildren are also often affected when someone in the family hears those dreaded words, “You have cancer.”

Find Cancer Caregiver Support

In addition to matching cancer patients with a survivor by your side, CanCare offers a caregiver support program that matches you with someone who has also cared for a loved one with cancer. We also offer a special online support group for caregivers of cancer patients.

Cancer support for family members is especially important because often caregiver spouses are reluctant to share their feelings with the survivor spouse for fear of causing an upset or burdening their loved one.  When connected with a CanCare volunteer caregiver who has walked the path of caring for a family member, caregivers can openly discuss their experience of the cancer journey and share their feelings. Getting support for yourself as a caregiver is often a gift to the cancer survivor because cancer survivors often worry about the impact that their cancer is having on their family's emotional, mental health, and even physical health.

Emotional Support with CanCare

Our CanCare caregiver community is comprised of over 150 caregivers who have cared for their husband, wife, partner, mother, father, sister, brother, son, daughter, granddaughter, grandson, aunt, uncle, friend and other extended family.  If you love someone with cancer, you are in good company in our caregiver community!

You may not know how to support a family member who is diagnosed with cancer or who has to undergo cancer treatments. That’s understandable. You’ve probably not done this before.  It’s new territory. Learning how to be a caregiver can be confusing. You shouldn’t have to figure out caregiving on your own. CanCare can provide a caregiver by your side as you navigate your cancer caregiver journey. Our cancer support community here at CanCare has been specially trained to provide support to caregivers. Our diverse community enables us to connect you with a caregiver whose relationship to their survivor is similar, if not the same, as yours. We also consider the cancer type and stage of the survivor and age when matching clients with volunteers.

We invite you to get matched with a volunteer caregiver
who will give you the emotional support you need.

How Can I Help My Loved One Who Has Cancer?

1

Be Positive

At this time in history there is so much Hope for those with cancer. Offer your loved one with cancer the reassurance of a hug. Refer to your loved one with cancer as a survivor — not a patient — not a victim. At CanCare we say that anyone who is still standing after they hear, “You’ve got cancer,” is a survivor. A cancer diagnosis is a crisis, but do not assume your loved one will die of cancer. After treatment, more than 55% of cancer survivors live out their normal lifetime cancer-free.

2

Listen

Your loved one with cancer needs to talk about what has happened. Your family member will give you clues about how he/she wants to be treated. Your loved one needs a place to express honest feelings without judgment. It is helpful to stay in touch. Find ways to show you really care.

3

Remember

Remember cancer affects the whole family. The whole family needs attention. Show kindness and respect to one another.  Each person responds to the diagnosis in their own way.

4

Love & Support

Love and support your loved one. Cancer survivors do not need pity.  Pity does not help morale. Encouragement gives confidence to face the realities of cancer. Remember your survivor loved one is likely to feel lonely and afraid. Write a note. Give a book or a video for a laugh. Make a favorite dish. Show love by celebrating life.

5

Pray

Pray for your loved one with cancer. Channels for healing are opened by your prayers. Remember God wants all of us to be healthy, whole, happy people. God’s presence brings peace.

6

Express Honest Feelings

Tears are okay. Though there can be a temptation to “protect” your loved one by hiding your feelings, realize that your family member may also need to cry with you.  When you share feelings, even though they may be hard, it prevents the loneliness of dealing with difficult feelings on your own.

7

Use the Word "Cancer"

It is only a word for the disease, not a sentence. It makes the survivor feel bad if you always avoid the word and refer to cancer as “your problem”.

8

Avoid

Avoid making all decisions on behalf of your loved one. Allow the survivor be a part of decision-making.  Sometimes he/she may need the normalcy of day-to-day decisions.

9

Offer Specific Help

Do not say, “Call me any time,” if you don’t mean it. Think about what you can offer, and say what you are willing to do: “I can drive you anywhere, or do any errand for you on Tuesdays,” or “I’ll make the dinner the next two Monday nights.”

10

Be Sensitive to Visitors

Your loved one may be tired from treatment. Try to encourage friends to come for short, upbeat visits or make positive phone calls. Your loved one needs success stories, diversion, Hope, friendship and you may need respite from care.  Encouraging friends, coworkers, other family member contact shows love and consideration. Ask friends to call before they visit. It is likely that your family member may have good days and bad days so you need to be flexible with visitors.

Resources for Cancer Caregivers

Building a support network is an important part of cancer support.  We recommend starting to build your cancer support community by requesting a Caregiver match with CanCare.

Family Caregiver Alliance

The mission of Family Caregiver Alliance is to improve the quality of the life for family caregivers and the people who receive their care.

Caregiver Action Network

Non-profit organization providing education, peer support, and resources to family caregivers across the country free of charge.

Well Spouse Association

Offers peer support & educates healthcare professionals and the general public about the special challenges and unique issues "well" spouses face every day.

Cancer Caregiver FAQs

What does a Cancer Caregiver do?

First and foremost, caregivers give care to the person they love who is dealing with cancer. Care can mean practical assistance like helping with meals, transportation, doctor appointments, appointments for treatment or it can mean offering emotional support to relieve the stress and anxiety of living with cancer. Emotional support might be listening, offering a hug, going for a walk together, watching a favorite TV show, laughing, crying or praying together.

What are the signs of Caregiver distress?

Caregiving can create a lot of stress due to handling multiple priorities, balancing work and caregiving, managing intense emotions, adjusting relationship roles, lifestyle factors and financial needs. Stress can affect the way you think, feel and behave.  If you are having difficulty concentrating and focusing, ruminating about stressors, feeling overwhelmed, anxious and unable to sleep you may be experiencing distress.

How do I manage my Caregiver stress?

If you realize that you are experiencing stress, then you’ve taken the first step to managing it. Now you can take the steps to reduce your stress. One thing that can help with stress is asking for help and support. Those who have experience as caregivers know the stresses of caregiving and can offer support and tell you what they found helpful for their journey. Sharing the burdens and the solutions can diminish the stress load. Request a caregiver match today!

How can caregivers be supported?

Caregivers can be supported by offering to sit with the patient or watch the kids in order to give the caregiver a chance to run errands, go to dinner, or watch a movie. Another idea is to organize a meal train for the family. The next time you are headed to the store, send a text to the caregiver and ask what you can pick up for him or her.  One of the most powerful things you can do to support a caregiver is to pray for him or her, specifically for strength, wisdom, and peace. Submit a prayer request today!

How can I help the person I love who has cancer?

Review these 10 tips with your cancer survivor to see if they would find these suggestions helpful.

I don’t live with the person who has cancer, am I still considered a caregiver?

At CanCare we consider anyone who loves someone with cancer a caregiver.  It is not uncommon that caregivers live at a distance from the person they love who is dealing with cancer.  Caregiving from a distance has stressors of its own and we have Volunteer Caregivers who have cared for someone remotely, including internationally.

What kind of Caregiver support do you offer?

We provide emotional support for cancer caregivers by connecting you with a caregiver whose relationship to the survivor, e.g., husband, parent, child, and the cancer type and stage of the survivor is similar, if not the same, as yours.  We invite you to join us by requesting to be matched with a Volunteer Caregiver who will give you the support you need, click here.

We also offer an online support group for caregivers. Our caregiver support group meets the 2nd Friday of the month from 12PM – 1PMc. Contact groups@cancare.org for more information and the link to join one of these monthly cancer caregiver support groups.

Can I be connected with someone who has had the same treatment as my care receiver?

Yes, with our large community of volunteers we can usually connect you with someone who has experience with a similar, if not the same, treatment.  Though we do not provide medical advice, your volunteer can share his/her experience with you.

See What Our Clients Are Saying

Jessica G.

Client
volunteer
"Nargis has been a pleasure to talk to. She is so sweet and kind and I really enjoy hearing about her experience compared to mine."

Geanine M.

Client
volunteer
"My Cancare volunteer became my friend I love and appreciate Kim!"

Cheryle L.

Client
volunteer
"I deeply appreciate your help and talking with Wanda has really been helping me through this diagnosis and in sorting through my thoughts and feelings. She is kind, listens, is very comforting, and a wonderful person."

Janice B.

Client
volunteer
"I am so grateful and thankful CanCare matched me with Claudette who had kidney cancer in 2001 and has been cancer free all these years. She gave me so much hope and assuaged all my fears about the surgery and outcome. We talked over an hour the first time and we have stayed in touch since my surgery Sept 20. Claudette and I continue in stay in touch and we hope to meet for lunch when I am feeling better. I have already referred a friend to CanCare. She is about to have a double masectomy. Thank You for your program. I am the first in my family to have cancer so had so many questions I forgot to ask the day I received the results of my CT scan."

Paul P.

Client
volunteer
"I am forever grateful for Anthony, Tom, and Greg. All have in their own special ways helped me deal with a very difficult situation. Anthony is my rock. Someone who stays in contact and always provides support and encouragement. Tom reaches out and listens to me, and talking helps tremendously. Amazingly, Greg and I share doctors and have the same cancer. Being able to talk with someone who is on a very similar journey brings me comfort and peace."

Cindy M.

Client
volunteer
"My volunteer met with me for several hours over coffee to talk about her fight and answered so many questions I had about my daughter's diagnosis."

E.A.

Client
volunteer
"I thank you very much for offering this service. It help me when I was overwhelmed with my husband's cancer."

Vicki R.

Client
volunteer
"Brenda in Texas is kind and understanding. She gave freedom to contact her anytime. She always gets right back in touch with me. Thank you for having this service available to us cancer patients who live with the unknown. Brenda has wonderful faith that rubs off onto me. Thank you again."

Mariann M.

Client
volunteer
"I am just starting my journey with cancer. My volunteer has been great. Thanks for connecting us!"

Dan S.

Client
volunteer
"Wonderful organization and excellent and compassionate service for both staff and volunteers."

Dennis S.

Client
volunteer
"My volunteer has been a great help to my wife (tongue cancer)."

Dallas T.

Client
volunteer
"She’s been a huge blessing to my life, amongst this worldwide crisis. I can’t wait to meet her in person when this is all over (or passes us.)"

Lisa M.

Client
volunteer
"Trish was the best I couldn’t have gone through this without her!"

Melissa D.

Client
volunteer
"This is a must! So needed so valuable."

Patricia A.

Client
volunteer
"The response by your team when I reached out was immediate and amazing. I felt their interest and caring was totally sincere."

Ron & Ina

Client
volunteer
"One morning while in Houston Methodist Hospital for transplant, a CanCare volunteer knocked on the door. He sat and shared with Ron and Ina about his time not just in the same hospital, but in the very same room as Ron! That day they found a new best friend in this CanCare volunteer. Ron and Ina both took a deep breath, seeing a survivor walking and sharing his story and listening to theirs. It was uplifting for both and gave them a sense of hope."

Ginger

Client
volunteer
"CanCare provides me with a resource that I need. There are not enough adjectives to describe the professional dedication of this organization’s staff and volunteers. I am blessed to be a part of this."

Maria

Client
volunteer
"As a client of CanCare and as a caregiver, I felt witnessed and heard. My CanCare mentor-volunteer was actually an ovarian cancer survivor. Usually, CanCare ensures cancer patients are matched up with survivors and caregivers are matched with caregivers. I am grateful to this day for CanCare’s creativity in pairing up a volunteer survivor with a caregiver client." ...

Valerie

Client
volunteer
"I contacted CanCare and spoke to a woman who had faced and won the battle I was fighting. I felt so uplifted and re-energized to continue fighting and accept what was happening."

Peyton

Client
volunteer
"I am a proud supporter of CanCare! Without CanCare, I think I could still be searching for someone that understands my specific challenges and perhaps would still be struggling with how to move forward."

Tim

Client
volunteer
On one of my “lower days” during my fight to prostate cancer, a customer of my business stopped by to solicit a donation for her child’s school fundraiser. I apologized to her for my lack of energy(we had already canceled the meeting once before) as I had just returned from a radiation session. Well, at that point the entire conversation changed. She shared with me her own cancer story. And also the role that CanCare played in helping her cope with the challenges she faced.